


Stand By You

by Chikabow, TheNorthRemembers



Series: Songs For You And I [2]
Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 00:58:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6449095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikabow/pseuds/Chikabow, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNorthRemembers/pseuds/TheNorthRemembers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the 2016 Spring Split Playoffs</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stand By You

It’s only a few more minutes until it’s time to go on stage and Michael can tell the team is nervous, excited and  ready to fight but still also nervous. He can see it in the way Yoonjae keeps tapping his foot and Nicolaj is just stoically staring forward, while Yoonjae attempts to lighten the mood with even worse jokes than usual, Hai though, Hai is quiet, he’s just sitting there next to Michael, fidgeting with his hands, having a close eye on his team.

Michael gets it, he feels nervous too, he is part of the team after all but it is still kind of a different for him he guesses. Because he is not going to be on that stage. Not this game at least. The expectations, the hope, the pressure, the weight, it’s not going to be on Michael’s shoulders.

All he can do is watch and believe. And he does. He believes that they can do it, that they can beat TSM. They have a shot, they truly do and the team knows that. Maybe that makes it worse, because being so close and then fucking up, it’s like a knife to the gut.

Hai glances at him and gives him a small timid smile and it breaks Michaels heart a little because it’s so unlike Hai, it lacks its usual brightness and Michael can barely stop himself from reaching out, from caressing Hai’s cheek, from kissing him until he can’t help but smile his real smile.

 Michael wants nothing more than to do that in that moment but he can’t, not with the others just a few steps away. They still don’t know about Michael and Hai even though Michael is at least 60% sure An might suspect something. He had never said anything though so neither had Michael. But maybe he should say something soon. _They should_. Maybe after the game, maybe tonight, _if_ they win, the team would be in a good mood, they’d celebrate, be cheerful and happy, it could be a good moment.

“Hey.” He says quietly, his voice barely more than a whisper, only for Hai to hear. “It’s going to be fine, you know?”

Hai half shrugs like it doesn’t matter even though they both know it does and the act is half-hearted at best.

“What if it’s not?” Hai murmured shooting a glance at the rest of their team before turning to face Michael. “I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“You aren’t going to.” Michael argues nudging Hai’s leg with his knee. “You’ll go out there and do your best. Period.”

“Is this the part where you tell me to just have fun and that winning is not that important?” Hai said shaking his head, a small smile playing on his lips “Because first of all that is not true and also ‘mom talk’ is kinda my area so…”

The joke falls flat but Michael chuckles anyway daring to brush his thumb against Hai’s hand resting on armrest between them.

“What I meant…” Michael says being mindful of keeping his voice low so only Hai can hear “…is that we are going to be fine. Even if we don’t win. WE are going to be fine, yeah? You and me. I got your back.”

Michael knows that it’s a weak thing to say but it’s really all he can offer Hai at the moment. What is going to happen on stage, on the rift, it’s beyond Michael’s control. He doesn’t get a say in what happens. He cannot promise Hai that they will win, that the team will do great, that they will crush TSM.

But he can promise Hai this and he’d do it every day if he could. Hai should know that he got Michael in his corner, whatever happens, on stage or off. It’s the unspoken promise Michael made to himself and Hai when he decided to go for it all those weeks ago when he had finally mustered up the courage to confess his feelings.

“I wish I could take you on stage with me.” Hai whispers linking their pinky fingers together. The others can’t see from this angle and Michael is glad because if they could they might interprete the blush creeping on his face for exactly what it is.

Now they can just put it on the warmth in the room or the nervousness in the room.

“Oh you know I’ll just brush up on my ADC skills and compete with sneaky for starting position. No problem.” He says playfully and winks.

 It’s not a good joke but it draws a silent chuckle from Hai’s lips and for now that’s gotta be enough, because suddenly one of the riot employees appears, seemingly out of nowhere signaling them that it’s time to go on stage.

Michael can hear the crowd cheering and shouting and for a split second he feels a sting in his heart, that it’s not him going out there, that he has to stay back, that those people aren’t cheering for him, but then Hai shoots him a last glance over his shoulder, a small unsure smile and suddenly Michael just can’t find it in himself to be jealous. He gives Hai the brightest smile he can manage and an exaggerated thumbs up. Hai shakes his head smiling and then he is gone, coach walking on stage behind him.

Michael stays back alone.

It has to be enough.

They are going to be fine.

 

 

*******

 

 

The first game was won. The team left the stage focused in what were their mistakes and mentally reprehending themselves. Not many smiles as they would have to win two more games to try and compete for the spring split finals. In Hai’s mind, thoughts of the positioning and overextending that lead him to die twice in a game that was closed so swiftly, were all that was to think about. But when the team met up with the coach, team analyst and the substitute support, other things crept into mind.  The latter of the C9 staff was the one Hai cared about the most.

He wanted to hug and kiss him and he could see that Michael wanted to do the same. Something in Michael’s eyes, the way they glowed, could be seen even in the dark backstage. They were like two precious stones that he could get lost in for days. But he couldn’t right now, he needed to listen to what the coaching staff had to say about the game.

 How was his positioning, his warding, roaming, engages? All of these technical issues had to be checked and addressed. Right now the only thing that mattered was the next game, what champion he would pick and how would they play out the early game? Should they rotate to the top lane? Should he follow his jungler to pressure the enemy mid laner? TSM were underdogs but they certainly couldn’t be underestimated, in all his years of pro play if there was something he learned… it was that you should never underestimate your opponent. Especially in a game of League, where all it took was one kill to make a comeback and turn the game around. Between stolen glances Hai could see Michael staring at him, silently, waiting to make his move, whichever that move was.

The coach and the analysts went through our approach for game two and a Riot employee told the team to go back to the stage. Everyone started making their way but Michael grabbed Hai by his wrist stopping him in his tracks.

With his soft hand he softly petted Hai’s hand and cheered.

“It’s going to be alright, I believe in you and the team. Good luck!”

 The feeling of Michael’s hand against his skin felt all kinds of wonderful and helped him ease all of his tensions, even if just for a while. Michael’s words echoed through Hai’s mind all the way to the stage and through the champion select making him a little more secure. All he wanted was to do well in this game, so his team could pass the playoffs phase and have a shot at the finals.

The better they did now, the more points they could stack for the world championship entry. He wanted to make his team proud, and make Michael proud. He wanted to go home and celebrate with his team, with his friends.

 

 

*******

 

 

Whatever miraculous energy they had going for them in the first game it’s completely gone once they step on stage for the second game. Michael watches it backstage, watches his team crash and burn and he feels so goddamn helpless it drives him crazy. It’s torture, sitting here, unable to do something, unable to help, it’s just like watching a car crash happen in slow motion like in those bad drama movies Michael hates so much.

He doesn’t know how the coach can do it, how can he look so calm, keep his face blank and just observe, analyze.

All Michael can think about is Hai and how he must be feeling out there, trying his best in front of thousands of people and it not being enough.

He can see it on Hai’s face when they come backstage. He looks defeated, tired, but there is still a glim of hopefulness, of fighting spirit and Michael wants nothing more than to  preserve that spark, which is why once again he just goes _fuck it_ in his head, pulling Hai into a tight hug before the coach can even start with his analysis.

Hai wraps his arms around Michael instantly, pressing his face into the crook of Michael’s neck. It’s over far too quickly, but Michael tries to put all his feelings in the hug, tries to give Hai as much comfort and encouragement as he can before they have to part to avoid suspicion.

They stay close to each other, during the short period of time in between games, while the coach goes over every little detail, every little mistake as quickly as he can with them. Michael tries to listen, to pay attention but the coach’s words to the team are not for him, not really. Because it’s not on him to turn the series around, to turn it in their favor. It’s on Hai and the others. He knows it and they know it, can see it in their stern faces, can feel it in the tense atmosphere surrounding them.

This time when they walk on stage Hai doesn’t turn around, doesn’t shoot Michael a last glance and Michael doesn’t get a chance to wish him good luck, to sneak another secret touch but in a way he gets it. This is not about them after all. This is about cloud 9, as a team, Hai is fighting for them out there, fighting for a spot in the split finals. His mind has to be focused on the game now and on the members that will be by his side on stage.

It’s all that matters.

He can’t afford to be distracted and Michael could never resent him for that.

 

 

 

*******

 

 

C9 had just lost the second game in a row, in a completely overwhelming way. Hai could feel the pressure build up. After the first dominating game in this best of five, they had just thrown everything away and lost the following games. It was match point for TSM. If they lost, they would lose the opportunity to make it to the spring final. Hai knew this, Zach, An, Nicolaj and Yoonjae knew this as well. They had to bring their best game and beat TSM twice in a row. Hai was pretty out of it and Michael noticed, approaching him and standing behind Hai. He started rubbing his back sending shivers down Hai’s spine. Hai continued listening to what the team said and what the coaching staff advised, feeling a little calmer. When the riot employee came to order us to prepare for the fourth game, Michael whispered some encouraging words. It was do or die, win or have this opportunity thrown away. C9 could not afford that.

 

 

  *******

 

 

The ride back is unusually quiet but Michael isn’t really surprised because there is nothing left to say. They handed it to TSM on a silver platter and now the dream of competing in the spring split finals has found its sudden irreversible end. Unsurprisingly it hurts, it hurts a lot and Michael barely dares to imagine how it must feel for the others, because they fought, they gave their best, they failed. Michael was just _there._

He wishes he could take some of the weight on his shoulders, make it better somehow but he knows that he can’t. There is nothing to say after all, so all he does is letting Hai rest his head on his shoulder while he is gazing out of the window watching the world outside.

Zachary and Nicolaj are sharing headphones and Michael can hear the faint sound of music but it’s too low to even try to decipher what song or even what type of music they are listening to. Hai has his eyes closed but Michael knows he is not sleeping, probably not even trying to, because after losses Hai always has trouble falling asleep, Michael had noticed. He beats himself up too much even though he puts on a brave face and claims that he’s fine. He blames himself, every time he takes the loss on his shoulders carrying it by himself so the others won’t have to. Michael wonders how heavy this series of three losses must weigh on Hai.

It’s crushing probably, but Hai would never admit that. Not in front of the others. At least not now, not with the wound still fresh and bleeding. Maybe tonight, when it’s just the two of them, when Michael crawls into Hai’s bed that became _their_ bed the night they shared their first kiss on it. Maybe then will Michael be able to make Hai feel a little bit better, but for now there is nothing he can do, he has to be content with offering him his silent support, just being there.

The car ride back always feels longer after a loss than after a win Michael noticed some time ago and this time isn’t different. It feels like a small forever until they finally pull up in the driveway of their gaming house. They pile out of the car as soon as it stops, no one saying much. Zachary will probably play some mariokart with Nicolaj, pretending like nothing happened. An usually goes straight to playing solo-queue just like Yoonjae. They all have different coping mechanism, some more effective than others.

Hai however goes straight for his and Michael’s shared room.

 

Michael follows him to their room. Hai is sitting on the bed scrolling through some feed on his phone, probably twitter.

“Hai, I thought that maybe we could take a walk or something, sitting here in this room won’t do you any good.” Michael suggested with a hint of worry in his voice.

“I’m fine Michael. I’ve lost many games before.” Hai replied maybe too aggressively. Michael just sat beside him ignoring the other boy’s tone.

“I really wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend…” Michael mumbled taking Hai’s hand into his. 

“What was your plan?” Hai inquired visibly embarrassed of his little outburst.

“I wanted to go downtown and walk by the beach. You know how beautiful the sea looks at night.” Michael proposed. Hai stopped for a minute to think.

“Actually I think it could be a nice idea.” Hai stated showing a shy smile that lead to Michael kissing him softly and parting slowly after.

“Let’s go!” Michael exclaimed getting up from the bed. Hai still a little reluctant, followed. They both made their way downstairs and Hai opened the door exiting the house. Michael before doing the same, told Zachary and Nicolaj that they were leaving for a while grabbed two jackets of the coat hanger in the entrance and met up with Hai outside.

“Put this on, it will get colder and it’s already chilly.” Michael insisted offering Hai the jacket. Hai did as he was told.

“You look really nice in that leather jacket.” Hai randomly stated. The black leather jacket Michael was wearing was one of the little things he had been allowed keep from his old team. Gravity was the team that set Michael “Bunnyfufuu” Kurylo as one of the best supports NA had to offer. After the team disbanded and each player went his own way, Cloud9 picked him up and now the first split had gone by. Michael didn’t get to play many games. The team obviously needed Hai’s shotcalling and if that meant that he had to stay in the bench… that’s what he would do. He just smiled at Hai in return, a blush creept on his face. He gently nudged Hai's side with his elbow.

"You don't look half bad yourself." Michael shot back. “Your C9 earings that that fan made for you suit you really well.“

“Thank you.” Hai giggled linking his arm with Michael’s and resting his head on the taller boy’s shoulder.  It was dark already and the street was poorly lit but it got progressively better as they made their way from the suburbs to the main part of town. The journey was filled with comfortable silence and at the sight of the lights and the crowds they parted, connecting through their hands. There were people talking, noisy cars and happy tunes that came from the carnival up ahead. Carrousels and bumper karts lit up the night with kids running around and families enjoying themselves.

Hai sat on the seawall facing the beach and the sea and Michael remained standing.

“Stay here, I’ll be back in a second.” Michael requested and ran off into the crowd. He reached a stand and handed over some coins. The old lady took the money and held a stick in her hand, then she dipped it into a rotating machine which was covered in sugar and cotton candy emerged after a little while. The old lady handed the stick to Michael and he made his way back to Hai.

“Hey. Sorry for the wait.” Michael apologized extending his arm so Hai would see what he had bought.  Hai put his little black notebook back in his jacket pocket.

 “Oh Cotton candy!” Hai exclaimed joyfully. “ Gimme gimme!”  He begged giving Michael his brightest smile. Michael sat down beside Hai and offering the cotton candy.

“You know? I think you were right.”  Hai stated earning a curious look from the boy beside him.

“What?” Michael asked confused.

“We lost today, but its fine. We are fine. It sucked losing the games but at least… I got you right? And my cotton candy.” Hai laughed taking another bite.

Michael gave him the biggest smile he could and hugged him tight.

 


End file.
